Journal Entry- June 15th 2024

What I had received from my mother was trauma that had needed to be healed…. Many experiences have been connected and added to that trauma… my relationship trauma started in my earliest relationships. It’s where I learned to mistrust love… at a young age, anger towards me was confusing. I just knew I loved but it hurt. My relationships have mirrored this pattern my entire life. I have slowly been waking up to the truth of my existence and have yet to hold it consistently through life situations… however in this moment, I see me… I feel me… I know me… I strive to let go of the feeling that I’ve done something wrong. Something to apologize for always… to be forgiven… to be understood and to be important. The truth is… my truth is… I am love. I am god and I am perfection. I’ve made mistakes but I’ve done my best to learn and grow where I could. I’ve shown up with the intention of doing what’s best and sometimes doing what’s best for me. Others may not understand my intentions… but I’ve never knowingly meant to hurt another. I simply made a choice. For that I release punishment from myself and or anyone else that believes I deserve to be punished. I am doing my best to love… that’s my truth.

It all comes down to what have I learned? My experiences have brought me through the fire and have given me testimony of my faith… my connection to the greater part of all there is… no one can take that from me…. I earned it. I have succeeded….